1) My wife did not know how to use a sewing machine,
2) My wife did not know how to make the curtains, and
3) These curtains were pretty intense, and quite ruffley I'll add.
In any work environment, there are obstacles that need to be overcome. And that's what my wife did here. First, she got a lesson from a family friend on how to use her sewing machine and obtained some continuing education from her own mother and my mother as well. I must add at this point that I am continually impressed with my wife's ability to learn new skills. Learning to sew on a machine is just the tip of the iceberg with her. When she puts her mind and will into something, it's going to happen.
Second, she got a pattern and again enlisted the help of both her and my mother to go through the steps of the pattern. For those interested, the pattern for these curtains is found on the link to this blog
Third, she persisted.
Here is a picture of her hard at work:
Here is a picture of the finished product:
For those of you who have been keeping up with this little blog, besides being amazing and beautiful my wife is also pregnant. So, the difficulty level of anything she does is automatically doubled, tripled, or quadrupled. I'm not sure what the exchange rate is between normal work and work while pregnant, but I'm assuming it's pretty high. All I know is that recently, walking has become a chore for my wife - let alone doing anything else.
So, you can imagine my surprise and/or discontent when my daughter and I recently had the following brief conversation that went something like this:
Daughter: Dad, you have to go to work and I have to go to school, but mommy and brother just get to stay home all day and not work.
Me: Well, mommy does work.
Daughter: But, she doesn't have a job.
Me: Yes, she does. She works at home.
Daughter: (looking up and rolling her eyes a bit because, obviously, I wasn't getting her point) But, not a real job where she makes money.
Me: Sweetie, mommy doesn't make money at her job, but it's a very important job. She takes care of brother during the day, she takes care of the home, she's here when you get home from school, and takes care of you. Her job is definitely more important than anything I do at work.
The conversation basically ended here after a quick teaching moment about the merits of homemaking and sticking up for my wife's current chosen profession.
My daughter is seven. Kids this age are notoriously curious about the world and how they fit into it. She has already proclaimed that she will be about a million different occupations when she grows up - ranging from cheerleader (I was not really happy with that one), librarian, cook, psychologist, dentist, music teacher, etc. She is constantly asking questions. All of this, I should add, is very developmentally appropriate.
But, as I think about this conversation, I'm a bit troubled. Based on my daughters comments, it is evident that she has been absorbing social messages about what counts as work, what it means to have a job, and how to evaluate the merits of that job. These are strong messages that our society teaches in fairly certain terms. The basic traditional sense is this: leaving the house to do something and getting paid is what it means to have a job. The value of that job is determined by the amount of money that one is paid. Seems fairly straight forward - except in many many cases it is dead wrong.
Think of teachers - in most states they get paid peanuts compared to the true value they perform.
Think of mothers - most get paid absolutely nothing (in monetary terms).
I guess what frustrates me is that I don't want my daughter to grow up believing that if she is able to choose to be a homemaker than she is less valuable to society or to her family. I don't want her to dismiss the importance of motherhood because society says that it is worthless work, exploitative, or too much trouble. I think that Neal Maxwell summed up the importance of motherhood best with these words:
When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time.I also realize that there is legion research, social commentary, feminist thought and essays, and other points of view that discuss various ways to think about and respond to the world of work as it pertains to women. That is outside the scope of this post.
I simply want to highlight that the role of my wife in our family is one that is irreplaceable. Our family would not function without her, and what society needs now most of all is families that function - and function well. A multiplicity of social ills could be cured if we were a nation of families that functioned well - where children grew up knowing they were loved, supported, where their parents had time for them, where appropriate boundaries were consistently enforced, etc. Our family is certainly not perfect and I don't want to paint it as such, but the work of my wife with our children in our home cannot be understated. And though she may not "make money" at her job, the investment that she is making is a sum that will reap eternal benefits and rewards for our family. I am grateful for all she does for me, our children, our home, and (yeah, I'll say it) I'm also grateful for those pink curtains - even if they are super frilly.
