Why I Keep Going to Church

Photo of Brigham City Temple taken from lds.org

About a month ago an instructor at church asked the class why we kept coming to church. He elicited some answers from the group and continued with the lesson that had to do with ... honestly, I can't remember exactly what the main point of the lesson was. I was really drawn into that question. I thought, "Gee, I should have an answer to that question right now." But my mind was blank. I didn't have an answer right then. It was pretty disconcerting and I have been pondering this question since that time.



This question triggered a lesson I had in a priesthood meeting years earlier in college. The bishop or stake president asked us "What are you going to do when you are in your thirties, have kids, and don't really "feel it" at church? What are you going to do then?" The question also struck me at that time, too. But I didn't really think that it could happen to me. But, you know what? It did and it has and it does happen to me.

There are multiple reasons not to go to church, ranging from difficulty with young children to more philosophical issues.

There are some Sundays when I don't want to be there. I just recently got out of primary after 2 years. There were some Sundays when it was really hard to face a class of 8-10 tweens who seemed to be engaged in a competition to see who could be more aloof and disengaged. Some Sundays it seems hard to get anything out of a lesson or talk while simultaneously wrestling a baby, hushing a 3 year old or getting a snack/book/crayon/whatever else for any of the children that my wife and I have. It can be embarrassing and hard to pay attention when your child breaks free and makes two full laps around the chapel, followed in hot pursuit by an older sister trying to stop him, while the speaker literally tracks their movement with her head in the middle of her talk (Yes, that did recently happen -Yes, it was really embarrassing). Under these types of circumstances - and many others that I haven't even written here - it really can be easy to ask - Why am I here?

The instructor's question also brought up some philosophical issues for me about the reasons behind my church attendance. I remember talking to a member of my bishopric in Norman, Oklahoma when I was at his house for dinner, having just started my doctoral program in counseling psychology. He made a comment that I found mildly offensive at the time, but now I can see was pretty wise. He encouraged me to be careful to keep my faith and testimony alive. The assumption of his statement was that it might be easy or tempting to let my faith go as I was embarking on years of studying the philophies of men and women. I would be ignorant to say that my study of psychology has not made practicing my religion difficult in some ways. It has challenged many notions that I held about the world, about myself, and about other people. It has challenged my ideas of God and the way that people view God. All of this, however, I feel has been extremely positive - though difficult at times.

As I have been pondering why I attend church, I have been reminded of a conversation about religion I had with a preacher from a charismatic Christian denomination while on an airplane. When he found out that I was born into a Mormon family, he remarked in an attempt to make me reassess my religious devotion, "Of course you believe that, you were raised to believe it."  If I take this line of thinking to its logical conclusion, the end result is that each person is taught some type of value system, belief, or orienting principles. If each of these is just something inherited and believed in or carried on because it is just part of family tradition or maintaining a status quo, then who is to say which is more valid or more correct? Trying to fight about who is right is completely pointless because each system of belief would simply be a construct created by and for human consumption. This is basically the idea behind relativism and constructivist theories - that reality is socially constructed by the individual or group.

If this is true, then there certainly is no reason (other than social acceptance, societal pressure, or other such reasons) to maintain activity in religious belief and church going. However, think about what this is really, truly saying. At the end of it all - those who kill in the name of their God are just as correct as those who love their neighbor in the service of theirs. This just doesn't jive.

Now, humanists will say, Of course that doesn't jive. Anything that hurts another person is inherently wrong because it violates moral law. It is best to just get rid of God altogether because human interpretation of this authoritarian figure is causing a whole host of problems.

So, if many people have different views, beliefs, and rituals and likely feel as strongly about them as I do about mine...
And, if people's interpretation of God can cause significant harm...
And when I actually do go, there are inherent challenges because of young children, etc....

Why do I continue to go to church?

One simple answer is that in the midst of these distractions and annoyances, God continues to nudge my soul. A word or two from a talk will stand out, a primary song will touch me deeply and move me to tears (I love singing time in primary, by the way!), or a comment in a lesson will be spot on with what I need to hear. Usually these are nudges about what I need to do better - and I feel more inspired to do them. This happens almost every Sunday.

Yes, the question then becomes, "Can't this happen to anyone regardless of their faith?" And the answer is "Yes! Of course God can speak to anyone and uses many means to do so. I have personally felt the spirit in other churches when truth was being taught.

Then, why do I continue to go to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Just tradition? Just habit? Too much investment? It would probably be disingenuous to say that these reasons don't play a part, but at the same time, I have had spiritual experiences about LDS-specific doctrine and teachings. I will tell you about one that I frequently think about.

I was studying the Book of Mormon and had recently been taught about praying in faith and truly expecting to receive answers to prayer. I figured that I would also try to do this. I recognized that I had experienced the feelings of the spirit before at church meetings and had never doubted doctrines of the church, but also had never really had a strong confirmation through the spirit that what I was being taught about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith was true. I guess you could say I wanted God to reveal the truth to me regarding the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith's prophetic mission. I prayed morning and night about this. After about a week I was attending the temple and the most incredible feeling entered my body. It was a sweet, warm, and intense feeling inside. Words honestly can't describe the depth or power of that experience. Tears filled my eyes and a deep peace filled my soul. I just knew it was true. I just knew that the Book of Mormon was a record that was brought forward by Joseph Smith at the direction of God. And it was true. Joseph Smith was a prophet.

Since that experience my feelings and faith have waxed and waned and sometimes it is hard to feel the same way, but I often go back and remember this experience when questions arise that I don't completely understand.

Now again, the philosophical argument to counter this experience is the self-fulfilling prophecy and confirmatory bias - basically the ideas that if we want something (or expect something) strongly enough, we usually act in ways to create it, and people tend to look for evidence to support what they already believe. Again, I can't dispute the existence of these psychological tendencies, but at the same time, I can't dispute the power of my personal experience either. I know that there will be people who read this and think my experience is just my metaphorical hand touching the part of the elephant that I can feel and describe - that my experience is just my own truth and that's great for me. But, if I'm trying to claim that this is some kind of objective truth, I am clearly deluding myself.

My answer is simply this - I don't have to convince anybody. It is not my burden to do so. I have been given a spiritual witness. I have felt it and I trust that. Now, even through children's crying fits, broken Cheerios on the carpet, and children who want to run off down the aisle, I am somehow given inspiration, spiritual nudges about course corrections I need in my life, and am taught truths that have blessed my life. Despite doubts and some confusion, I can continue to feel God's presence in my life and have spiritual experiences as I participate in rituals and lessons at church.

So, in the end, even though there may be hundreds of reasons to stay home - and it would certainly be easier to do so...
And even though I don't completely understand everything...
And even though I am not 100% free of doubts regarding certain topics or issues...

I go because I believe it is true.

I stay because I believe it is true.

And I believe that staying has made me a better person.

 I bet you can guess which kid is the runner... 

If you would like to share why you go to church (regardless of which one you attend) and how it has blessed your life, please share!