Why I Keep Going to Church

Photo of Brigham City Temple taken from lds.org

About a month ago an instructor at church asked the class why we kept coming to church. He elicited some answers from the group and continued with the lesson that had to do with ... honestly, I can't remember exactly what the main point of the lesson was. I was really drawn into that question. I thought, "Gee, I should have an answer to that question right now." But my mind was blank. I didn't have an answer right then. It was pretty disconcerting and I have been pondering this question since that time.



This question triggered a lesson I had in a priesthood meeting years earlier in college. The bishop or stake president asked us "What are you going to do when you are in your thirties, have kids, and don't really "feel it" at church? What are you going to do then?" The question also struck me at that time, too. But I didn't really think that it could happen to me. But, you know what? It did and it has and it does happen to me.

There are multiple reasons not to go to church, ranging from difficulty with young children to more philosophical issues.

There are some Sundays when I don't want to be there. I just recently got out of primary after 2 years. There were some Sundays when it was really hard to face a class of 8-10 tweens who seemed to be engaged in a competition to see who could be more aloof and disengaged. Some Sundays it seems hard to get anything out of a lesson or talk while simultaneously wrestling a baby, hushing a 3 year old or getting a snack/book/crayon/whatever else for any of the children that my wife and I have. It can be embarrassing and hard to pay attention when your child breaks free and makes two full laps around the chapel, followed in hot pursuit by an older sister trying to stop him, while the speaker literally tracks their movement with her head in the middle of her talk (Yes, that did recently happen -Yes, it was really embarrassing). Under these types of circumstances - and many others that I haven't even written here - it really can be easy to ask - Why am I here?

The instructor's question also brought up some philosophical issues for me about the reasons behind my church attendance. I remember talking to a member of my bishopric in Norman, Oklahoma when I was at his house for dinner, having just started my doctoral program in counseling psychology. He made a comment that I found mildly offensive at the time, but now I can see was pretty wise. He encouraged me to be careful to keep my faith and testimony alive. The assumption of his statement was that it might be easy or tempting to let my faith go as I was embarking on years of studying the philophies of men and women. I would be ignorant to say that my study of psychology has not made practicing my religion difficult in some ways. It has challenged many notions that I held about the world, about myself, and about other people. It has challenged my ideas of God and the way that people view God. All of this, however, I feel has been extremely positive - though difficult at times.

As I have been pondering why I attend church, I have been reminded of a conversation about religion I had with a preacher from a charismatic Christian denomination while on an airplane. When he found out that I was born into a Mormon family, he remarked in an attempt to make me reassess my religious devotion, "Of course you believe that, you were raised to believe it."  If I take this line of thinking to its logical conclusion, the end result is that each person is taught some type of value system, belief, or orienting principles. If each of these is just something inherited and believed in or carried on because it is just part of family tradition or maintaining a status quo, then who is to say which is more valid or more correct? Trying to fight about who is right is completely pointless because each system of belief would simply be a construct created by and for human consumption. This is basically the idea behind relativism and constructivist theories - that reality is socially constructed by the individual or group.

If this is true, then there certainly is no reason (other than social acceptance, societal pressure, or other such reasons) to maintain activity in religious belief and church going. However, think about what this is really, truly saying. At the end of it all - those who kill in the name of their God are just as correct as those who love their neighbor in the service of theirs. This just doesn't jive.

Now, humanists will say, Of course that doesn't jive. Anything that hurts another person is inherently wrong because it violates moral law. It is best to just get rid of God altogether because human interpretation of this authoritarian figure is causing a whole host of problems.

So, if many people have different views, beliefs, and rituals and likely feel as strongly about them as I do about mine...
And, if people's interpretation of God can cause significant harm...
And when I actually do go, there are inherent challenges because of young children, etc....

Why do I continue to go to church?

One simple answer is that in the midst of these distractions and annoyances, God continues to nudge my soul. A word or two from a talk will stand out, a primary song will touch me deeply and move me to tears (I love singing time in primary, by the way!), or a comment in a lesson will be spot on with what I need to hear. Usually these are nudges about what I need to do better - and I feel more inspired to do them. This happens almost every Sunday.

Yes, the question then becomes, "Can't this happen to anyone regardless of their faith?" And the answer is "Yes! Of course God can speak to anyone and uses many means to do so. I have personally felt the spirit in other churches when truth was being taught.

Then, why do I continue to go to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Just tradition? Just habit? Too much investment? It would probably be disingenuous to say that these reasons don't play a part, but at the same time, I have had spiritual experiences about LDS-specific doctrine and teachings. I will tell you about one that I frequently think about.

I was studying the Book of Mormon and had recently been taught about praying in faith and truly expecting to receive answers to prayer. I figured that I would also try to do this. I recognized that I had experienced the feelings of the spirit before at church meetings and had never doubted doctrines of the church, but also had never really had a strong confirmation through the spirit that what I was being taught about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith was true. I guess you could say I wanted God to reveal the truth to me regarding the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith's prophetic mission. I prayed morning and night about this. After about a week I was attending the temple and the most incredible feeling entered my body. It was a sweet, warm, and intense feeling inside. Words honestly can't describe the depth or power of that experience. Tears filled my eyes and a deep peace filled my soul. I just knew it was true. I just knew that the Book of Mormon was a record that was brought forward by Joseph Smith at the direction of God. And it was true. Joseph Smith was a prophet.

Since that experience my feelings and faith have waxed and waned and sometimes it is hard to feel the same way, but I often go back and remember this experience when questions arise that I don't completely understand.

Now again, the philosophical argument to counter this experience is the self-fulfilling prophecy and confirmatory bias - basically the ideas that if we want something (or expect something) strongly enough, we usually act in ways to create it, and people tend to look for evidence to support what they already believe. Again, I can't dispute the existence of these psychological tendencies, but at the same time, I can't dispute the power of my personal experience either. I know that there will be people who read this and think my experience is just my metaphorical hand touching the part of the elephant that I can feel and describe - that my experience is just my own truth and that's great for me. But, if I'm trying to claim that this is some kind of objective truth, I am clearly deluding myself.

My answer is simply this - I don't have to convince anybody. It is not my burden to do so. I have been given a spiritual witness. I have felt it and I trust that. Now, even through children's crying fits, broken Cheerios on the carpet, and children who want to run off down the aisle, I am somehow given inspiration, spiritual nudges about course corrections I need in my life, and am taught truths that have blessed my life. Despite doubts and some confusion, I can continue to feel God's presence in my life and have spiritual experiences as I participate in rituals and lessons at church.

So, in the end, even though there may be hundreds of reasons to stay home - and it would certainly be easier to do so...
And even though I don't completely understand everything...
And even though I am not 100% free of doubts regarding certain topics or issues...

I go because I believe it is true.

I stay because I believe it is true.

And I believe that staying has made me a better person.

 I bet you can guess which kid is the runner... 

If you would like to share why you go to church (regardless of which one you attend) and how it has blessed your life, please share!

Learning to walk and potty training

There has been a lot of bathroom talk in my house lately, a bit more nudity, and my youngest looks a little injured. No, we are not abusing our kids. Our middle child is potty training and the baby has been learning to walk. It's been coming for a couple weeks and he's just started to get fairly good at it. He falls a lot though, and sometimes when he falls he cuts, bangs, and bruises himself. My wife actually took this picture of him and asked a friend if it was okay to take him around without fear of someone calling CPS on us.

With each day he takes more and more steps. It's amazing! And hopefully, there will be fewer and fewer cuts and scrapes... But, he's a boy, and I'm guessing this is only the beginning for him.

Meanwhile, our 3 year old has been going through the joyous experience of potty training. My wife is such an all-star. The first day was pretty rough. I'm so glad I was at work. This might sound terrible and mean, but we decided that if our son had an accident he would have to get washed off in a quick cold shower. He soon learned that was not fun. Then, we also decided to reward him for successful elimination in the toilet. Turns out chocolate chips can be wildly rewarding - especially if you have a choice between brown and white. Starbursts are also quite rewarding.
I think my wife said he had ~9 cold showers on the first day. The next day, 2. The third day, he actually started to go to the potty all by himself. We heard his little voice come from down the hall, "I peed!" We had company over for a game night and both my wife and I thought, "Oh no, he had an accident." But, when my wife went to investigate, she discovered that instead of standing there awkwardly with wet pants, he was sitting on the toilet. She called out, "You peed in the potty! Yea!" I got up from the table where our friends were sitting and ran down the hall, arms in the air, like a quarterback does after throwing a touchdown. That was probably the best moment of the week. It was the first time he had independently gone to the toilet. Our family had a little potty party as we clapped for him on the toilet - a very proud moment, indeed.

As most people who have been through it already know, potty training is a process, and can be a difficult one for both parent and child. I understand very well the frustration of asking my child if he has to go... "NO!" comes the response. Then, lo and behold, a minute later there is a puddle on my wife's cedar chest. Gag!

Though it is certainly frustrating and maddening for the parents at times, it can also be really hard for the child. Consider this recent vignette: My son likes to poop in private and it has been difficult getting him to go on the toilet. One night, he really put forth the effort and I made my way in and out of the bathroom to check on him and make sure he was okay, but also give him the requisite privacy. So, I hear his loud squeal of a cry and make a mad dash to the bathroom. What I found was a bit horrifying, a little disgusting, kinda sad, but awesome at the same time. My son was sitting on the potty, sobbing, mumbling the words "poop", and showed me his hand. Yup, he had poo on his hand, his poo that should have been in the toilet was on his seat, a little of it was smeared on the seat, and you can guess that it was also smeared on his backside as well. I immediately thought of that episode of South Park where one of the kids smears poop all over the walls. At least it wasn't that bad.
At the same time, I was so proud of him. A little grossed out, true, but he totally went for it! It wasn't perfect, he got a little messy, a little sad, and maybe a little freaked out, but he did it. Unfortunately he hasn't pooped on the potty since then. So, maybe it was a bit traumatic.... here's hoping for a 2nd number 2 in the toilet.

I'm definitely not putting a picture of anything potty training related up here... You're welcome.

As I have been thinking about these experiences that my sons are having - learning to walk and potty training - there are some similarities. First, they are transitions from one stage to another. They represent progression in development. Second, they can be painful. Both of my sons have cried as a result of unsuccessful attempts. Third, success brings extreme joy. Our baby was so happy and proud when he was first able to walk to daddy or mommy and get a huge hug. The 3 year old has made it a habit that he runs stark naked down the hall and into whatever room we are occupying to announce that he "went pee pee in the potty." Modesty will come later. It has only really been a problem when our daughter had a friend over - kinda freaked her out a bit.

These experiences have brought back some words of a talk by Dieter F. Uchdorf when he spoke about learning to walk. He said,

"We have all seen a toddler learn to walk. He takes a small step and totters. He falls. Do we scold such an attempt? Of course not. What father would punish a toddler for stumbling? We encourage, we applaud, and we praise because with every small step, the child is becoming more like his parents. 

"...compared to the perfection of God, we mortals are scarcely more than awkward, faltering toddlers. But our loving Heavenly Father wants us to become more like Him... that should be our eternal goal too. God understands that we get there not in an instant but by taking one step at a time."

I love these words because they encapsulate perfectly this mortal life. We are trying to grow, to become better, to progress. But it's hard. We fall, we get messy, and we cry sometimes. Occasionally we have consequences that we would rather not have. But all along the way God is there. His spirit continues to encourage and strengthen us, to help us on the path back home. We have been given the help we need to get back through His Son. Regardless of how bumped, bruised, or soiled we may become through our mortal life, God continues to love us. He knows that mess ups will happen and he loves us through them. No matter what. All we have to do is keep trying.

 

If you feel like sharing, what things in your life help you to know that you are still loved (by God, by family, friends, etc.) despite seeming failures along the way?

 

Lessons from my Wife Working (Outside the Home)

A few months back, my wife decided she wanted to work outside the home. It was a tough decision that she and I came to for a multitude of reasons. Some of these were financial - to help our family pay down debt. Some were emotional and interpersonal - she shared with me that she was struggling with postpartum depression and thought that getting out of the house and having some face time with people who were not children or mommies might do her some good. It was very important to me that I be supportive of her as she struggled to make this choice. She finally indicated that she felt good about starting to work. She put in an application at a local department store and was hired almost immediately.

I was excited for her! She would be able to make some more money, she would be able to get a break from the kids, she would make more friends. I thought these would enrich her life. Also, if this helped with some of the depression, then she would likely be more engaged with the children when she was at home with them. 

I was also excited for me, too. I would get to demonstrate to my wife how awesome I was at childrearing. I would get to do what I wanted with the kids in the evenings and not worry about following her instructions. And yeah, I'll admit it, there was a part of me that thought I could do it better than she did.

As an added bonus, her work was flexible with our schedule. I would be able to go to work during the day and then we would switch cars at the parking lot for my wife's job. It was a perfect scenario. No day care or babysitters. Sweet! Everything was set and perfect.

The first night went off like a charm. I had the kids fed, worn out from playing, in bed, and all went according to plan. I was pretty proud of myself. I probably looked fairly smug, because my wife sat me down on the couch and said, "Honey, don't expect every night to be this easy. It won't always go perfectly."

HOW RIGHT SHE WAS!!!!!!!

There are numerous lessons that I have learned (or are in the process of learning) from this experience of my wife being in the corporate workforce.

1. My wife's job as a mother is HARD!

Some days I'm awesome at it. It all seems to go so smoothly. I can get dinner on while intermittently holding a baby, check over homework, have a dance party to some pop radio station on Pandora, get the kids all worn out, have bath time, get the middle child in bed, then put the baby down, read my oldest daugher a chapter from a Harry Potter book and done. I'm on the couch chilling out by 8:00 (or more likely doing dishes or cleaning the house).
 
But most of the time not so much - like the time I lost my middle child in the mall while trying to feed the baby when we were at the play place. Yeah, that was terrifying. Luckily some concerned mother took him to customer service. Or the times when I have the baby asleep and am picking up the book to start reading to my daughter and he wakes up and starts to cry again. Or the middle child gets out of bed for what seems like the millionth time. Or the many times when my patience is exremely thin, my energy is low and it is all I can do to just get some food on the table (frozen pizza anyone?), turn on a movie for the kids, or send them out to the backyard (if only they would stay out there for more time).

I kid you not, I actually started to have anxiety reactions upon driving from my work to my wife's work to pick up the kids - my stomach would get tight, my shoulders would ache, my knees would start to hurt some. I had to remind myself to take deep breaths and say affirming statements. I was doing psychotherapy on myself. At least I have faith in my own craft, right?

There have been times when I have completely lost my patience, my temper, and I'm sure my son and daughter know some unsavory words thanks to me. I had a few moments, one in particular, where I thought I was completely losing my mind.

I said above that my wife was right about each night not being easy. That's an understatement. Taking care of three kids in the evenings and on the weekends that my wife is at work is a monumental task for me and it has been extremely difficult. It has opened my eyes to the task that my wife faces each day when I am at work. The times when I would come home from work and she would say, "I need to escape for a while" make complete sense now.

2. Practice and experience improve performance

Yes, it has been difficult. Yes, I have lost it on more than one occasion. Yes, some days I just want to check out and "go to the bathroom" (I swear, my kids are going to grow up thinking that I have some kind of gastrointestinal problem with how long it takes me to "go potty" <wink wink>). But, over time, it has gotten easier. This isn't to say that the seams can't come unloose at any moment, but in general the trend has been onward and upward. The days do get relatively easier, the frequency of easier days has increased, and I have a better feel for what should happen, how it should happen, and when it needs to happen. A quote that has been attributed to both Ralph Waldo Emerson and Heber J. Grant seems to sum up how I feel about this:

“That which we persist in doing becomes easy to do; not because the nature of the thing has changed, but because our power to do it has increased.”

Now, I wouldn't say that it is "easy" for me - not by a longshot. But, it is getting easier. I believe that my power to raise these children has increased. Sure, I'm definitely not perfect at it, but I feel much more confident.

This looks like it was probably one of the easy days...


3. My kids love and miss their mommy

Some of you may have read the post I wrote about my wife already having a REAL job as a mother and the conversation my daughter and I had about this. My wife has told me many times that our oldest daughter always wanted her mommy to go out to work. Now that it has become a reality, the grass doesn't seem all that greener on the other side. My daughter has said to me on more than one occasion that she wants her mommy. Now, to be honest, this has mostly happened in the midst of her being disciplined for something and was likely a manipulation attempt. But, there is definitely a joy and happiness that fills my children's faces when mommy comes home on the Saturdays or Sundays she is required to work. The youngest definitely gets excited when mommy comes home at night (if he has been refusing to fall asleep) and he gets his cuddles. It has been nice to see my wife enjoying that moment upon returning home from work - the kids running to give hugs and kisses, and yelling out "mommy!!!". It is quite a re-affirming moment when you realize that (even though the kids might sometimes act like they are plotting your demise) they actually do love you. It has been nice to see how much the children love and adore their mother.

4. I have become a better husband and father

Through it all, this experience has strengthened me. Not too long ago, my wife and I found ourselves in our now former bishop's office discussing some marital and parenting issues. His advice was pretty obvious in theory, but difficult in practice. He told us that in the evenings we both had to be 100% engaged in the work of the family - taking care of kids, getting the dinner on, etc. If we were both united and working side by side, we could own the situation - especially if we had the Lord's help. I don't think I appreciated or really took this advice to heart until my wife went back to work. I had to demonstrate the ability to do it all by myself. I have come to realize what actually has to happen at night. I have shown that I can make it happen. Before, I generally followed my wife's lead and just did what she told me to do (not a bad thing, but certainly not the best). There is a scripture that basically says we shouldn't be commanded in all things, but should do good things of our own accord (D&C 58:26&27). I'm sure that my waiting for her lead in helping out at night was frustrating for my wife.

Now, when my wife has a night off and we are both at home during dinner and the nighttime routine, it is a much sweeter and easier experience for me. I can read that Harry Potter book to my daughter and know that my wife will take care of the crying baby. Or I can put both of the older children to bed so my wife can enjoy her time with the baby. Or any multiple combinations of task division. This has made life easier for my wife and I believe I am better for it.


Some final thoughts:
I hope that I am not being misinterpreted: This is not a clarion call that all mothers should work outside of the home. This post is not advocating for or against that. This happened to be my wife's choice at that time. It has been a difficult process for me, but also for my wife. She could likely write a post of her own about what working outside the home has been like for her (the good and the bad). I continue to maintain what I said in earlier posts that the work my wife does inside the home is of infinitely more value than the work I do outside the home. I continue to affirm that the role of mother is a beautiful one that enriches and blesses the lives of everyone in the family. That being said, my wife's choice was a personal one and I believe the right choice for her at that time. I guess that if this post is advocating for anything it would be the importance of supporting your spouse through decision-making processes and realizing that growth and blessings can come regardless of the choice.

That, and keeping your freezer stocked with frozen pizza - just in case.

3rd Child & Blogging Update

Since the birth of our third child, the blogging has significantly dropped off - and by drop off I mean I haven't written in about 10 months. So, yeah, a bit more than just a break, I guess. Turns out having three kids is quite a bit different than just having two. I think that my wife and I knew this (at least cognitively) prior to the arrival of #3, but now it is safe to say that we have experienced what being outnumbered by kids feels like. But, we are lucky - we have 3 amazing kids. They might make us a little crazy a lot of the time - or a lot crazy a little bit of the time, but I'm grateful for each of them.

This picture pretty much sums up what I've wanted to do the majority of my free time since having our 3rd child (hence, the lack of blog posts):

 

Alas, those moments of precious sleep are few and far between. Luckily, amid all of the crazies, I do get moments like this:

And this....

And it becomes worth it.
But (and I don't think I'm alone here) seeing this at the end of a long day is one of my favorites:

So, with this long break in blogging I've also decided to change up the blog a bit. Instead of the blog being solely focused on my wife, I've expanded the focus to include stories about my children, events from life, insights that may (hopefully) be of interest. Generally, I will try to make these uplifting, inspiring, and faith-promoting but also about real-life issues. And of course, I will continue to share cool things that my wife is doing.

Happy reading!

My wife is awesome: Apologies from a semi-obsessive husband

First, let me just say, my wife is awesome. Her awesomeness is the true inspiration behind this blog. For a short introduction, we got married a bit over 3 years ago. We have 2.5 kids – a beautiful 6 year old little girl, a rascally (but equally adorable) 2 year old boy, and a baby boy coming soon. I hope and pray the second boy is a little more toned down than the first. We'll see, I guess.

Anyways, when my wife and I got married we developed some social roles that probably tend to happen in most marriages. She became more of a spender and I became more of a saver. I'm sure that many a marriage therapist has dealt with this issue. Come to think of it, as a psychologist myself, I've dealt with this issue in some of my own clients.

It's funny what money problems will do to a marriage, and we have certainly had our share of money problems. I guess that tends to happen if you marry in graduate school, make little to nothing, and have a kid at “I do.” Some of the ways that we have tried to deal with the money problems have come in the form of  just trying to spend less, putting up the credit card (actually very effective), going to cash, reading the Dave Ramsey Money Makeover book (we only got through a chapter or two together), having a good number of fights about money, making a budget and subsequently blowing the budget, trying over to made a better budget, doing some extreme couponing (minus the hoarding), etc. Yeah, it's been a bit of a rocky ride and we are still not out of the woods. But, we have finally developed a system that works for us.

This is starting to sound like a finance blog, which it isn't, but finances are a big part of the back story. See, as the self-anointed money saver in the family I have taken it upon myself to try and save or pay down debt as much as I can. My wife, on the other hand, has made a concerted effort to not spend as much as she used to, but occassionally has some... we'll call them lapses. But, it just so happens that she has an amazing gift for doing crafts, decorating, remodeling, revamping furniture, trying awesome new recipes, etc. She is pretty much amazing at the whole homemaking thing.

In actuality, this blog is part confession on my end and part tribute to my wife by showcasing some of the fabulous things that she has created during our married life so far. Why is it a confession? Well, this goes back to the money thing. See, my wife often wants to go to Hobby Lobby or some other craft/home improvement store that carries what she needs for her latest project. I, as the semi-obsessive saver, often tell her no, or say "I don't think we have that in our budget" or something else to dissuade her from her design. It has happened that she gets the stuff anyways outside of the budget, and I have a tendency to get upset at her. This usually starts a fight. Or, it used to. We've come a long way.

I recently realized that my wife has this amazing gift. I should have figured it out earlier. When we first got married, I knew that she was an avid scrapbooker. She had a few books that she had put together already of her daughter and she was eagerly putting together a scrapbook of our wedding.

When we were setting up our first duplex as a married couple, she was the one banging nails into the walls and putting up the family photos, pictures of Jesus, the temple, and other wall décor. Stupidly, I felt like I had to hammer the nails cause I'm the man and, well, since prehistoric times we've been swinging heavy objects. So... it just made evolutionary sense to me. Turns out my wife really didn't want me to put the pictures up and she has been the one primarily doing the decorating – hammer swinging and all. I help sometimes if she lets me.

She has always wanted to try new and interesting recipes to feed the family. I was basically fine eating spaghetti or something easy and cheap each night. Most of these new recipes have turned out great. There was only one misfire. It has become something of legend in our home. My wife says that she's so lucky because I like everything she fixes, then she'll add – except that one thing. Neither of us can remember what it was. I hope we don't accidentally make it again. Here we are enjoying our first homemade Christmas dinner (2012) - actually staying at home instead of staying with parents or in-laws for the holidays.

The only thing out of the box or bag was the stuffing...

Then, about 2 years ago she decided she wanted to pick up crocheting. She asked a friend from church to teach her how. My wife had a couple craft nights with the ladies from the ward and Voila! - a masterful crocheter (is that a word?) was born.

 

Here is a blanket that she just completed:

 

This blanket for our son took her over a year to complete. During that time  we moved twice and other projects came along in the interim.

Sadly and somewhat shamefully throughout most of the 3.5 years of our marrige, I have put up a stink about her buying materials for many of her projects. We recently moved into a house and almost immediately started talking about ways she wants to paint and redecorate some of the rooms. My eyes started rolling – actually, they were seeing dollar signs go up in smoke. How much is all that going to cost? We need to pay off debt. If I had it my way, we would live in a tin can until all of our debt was paid off.

I think I started to get a hint of an idea about the depth of my wife's gift by talking to my mom. She's awesome too, by the way. I was telling her about some recipe or craft or something or other that my wife was doing and my mom says, “You really have a special one there! She is really something. She just puts her mind to something and does it. And it turns out great.”

“Yeah, mom, you're right,” I would say, genuinely, but also realizing that all of these things that she was putting her mind to were taking money out of our pockets.

But my mom's opinion stuck somewhere in my mind. I gave it some more thought. Then, I found myself bragging about my wife to my friends, and showing them pictures of some of the blankets she has made or other things she has done. I'm sure that some of my co-workers are a bit jealous because of the leftovers that I always bring for lunch. Just a couple weeks or so ago I realized that my wife is awesome at homemaking!

She has been trying to develop her talents and make a home that our children and family will cherish. As a couple, we really value the home and try to make it a place of peace, fun, comfort, and learning for our kids and for ourselves. We try to make it a refuge from the world. All this time I have been a hinderance to her goal of homemaking. I always loved the quote by Gordon B. Hinckley that he said about his wife:

 

The women in our lives are creatures endowed with particular qualities, divine qualities, which cause them to reach out in kindness and with love to those about them. We can encourage that outreach if we will give them opportunity to give expression to the talents and impulses that lie within them. In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, 'You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.'

The first time I heard this, I thought to myself, "Now, that's the kind of husband I want to be." Up until now, ultimate fail! So, in the spirit of turning that around, I am doing this. In addition to actually supporting my wife in her talents, I want to share with others how amazing she is.

Hence this blog.

I actually suggested to my wife a couple weeks ago that she should start a blog about all the crafts that she makes, but she pushed it off and said, “Yeah, cause I keep up with that kind of thing so well.” So, I took it upon myself to start one about her. She doesn't know yet. I started to take pictures of the things that she has made and was working on at the time.

The following posts will show things that she has done so far - foods, furniture projects, crafts, decorations, you name it. It will also be an honor sharing some of our family with you all as well.

Enjoy!