My wife is awesome: Apologies from a semi-obsessive husband

First, let me just say, my wife is awesome. Her awesomeness is the true inspiration behind this blog. For a short introduction, we got married a bit over 3 years ago. We have 2.5 kids – a beautiful 6 year old little girl, a rascally (but equally adorable) 2 year old boy, and a baby boy coming soon. I hope and pray the second boy is a little more toned down than the first. We'll see, I guess.

Anyways, when my wife and I got married we developed some social roles that probably tend to happen in most marriages. She became more of a spender and I became more of a saver. I'm sure that many a marriage therapist has dealt with this issue. Come to think of it, as a psychologist myself, I've dealt with this issue in some of my own clients.

It's funny what money problems will do to a marriage, and we have certainly had our share of money problems. I guess that tends to happen if you marry in graduate school, make little to nothing, and have a kid at “I do.” Some of the ways that we have tried to deal with the money problems have come in the form of  just trying to spend less, putting up the credit card (actually very effective), going to cash, reading the Dave Ramsey Money Makeover book (we only got through a chapter or two together), having a good number of fights about money, making a budget and subsequently blowing the budget, trying over to made a better budget, doing some extreme couponing (minus the hoarding), etc. Yeah, it's been a bit of a rocky ride and we are still not out of the woods. But, we have finally developed a system that works for us.

This is starting to sound like a finance blog, which it isn't, but finances are a big part of the back story. See, as the self-anointed money saver in the family I have taken it upon myself to try and save or pay down debt as much as I can. My wife, on the other hand, has made a concerted effort to not spend as much as she used to, but occassionally has some... we'll call them lapses. But, it just so happens that she has an amazing gift for doing crafts, decorating, remodeling, revamping furniture, trying awesome new recipes, etc. She is pretty much amazing at the whole homemaking thing.

In actuality, this blog is part confession on my end and part tribute to my wife by showcasing some of the fabulous things that she has created during our married life so far. Why is it a confession? Well, this goes back to the money thing. See, my wife often wants to go to Hobby Lobby or some other craft/home improvement store that carries what she needs for her latest project. I, as the semi-obsessive saver, often tell her no, or say "I don't think we have that in our budget" or something else to dissuade her from her design. It has happened that she gets the stuff anyways outside of the budget, and I have a tendency to get upset at her. This usually starts a fight. Or, it used to. We've come a long way.

I recently realized that my wife has this amazing gift. I should have figured it out earlier. When we first got married, I knew that she was an avid scrapbooker. She had a few books that she had put together already of her daughter and she was eagerly putting together a scrapbook of our wedding.

When we were setting up our first duplex as a married couple, she was the one banging nails into the walls and putting up the family photos, pictures of Jesus, the temple, and other wall décor. Stupidly, I felt like I had to hammer the nails cause I'm the man and, well, since prehistoric times we've been swinging heavy objects. So... it just made evolutionary sense to me. Turns out my wife really didn't want me to put the pictures up and she has been the one primarily doing the decorating – hammer swinging and all. I help sometimes if she lets me.

She has always wanted to try new and interesting recipes to feed the family. I was basically fine eating spaghetti or something easy and cheap each night. Most of these new recipes have turned out great. There was only one misfire. It has become something of legend in our home. My wife says that she's so lucky because I like everything she fixes, then she'll add – except that one thing. Neither of us can remember what it was. I hope we don't accidentally make it again. Here we are enjoying our first homemade Christmas dinner (2012) - actually staying at home instead of staying with parents or in-laws for the holidays.

The only thing out of the box or bag was the stuffing...

Then, about 2 years ago she decided she wanted to pick up crocheting. She asked a friend from church to teach her how. My wife had a couple craft nights with the ladies from the ward and Voila! - a masterful crocheter (is that a word?) was born.

 

Here is a blanket that she just completed:

 

This blanket for our son took her over a year to complete. During that time  we moved twice and other projects came along in the interim.

Sadly and somewhat shamefully throughout most of the 3.5 years of our marrige, I have put up a stink about her buying materials for many of her projects. We recently moved into a house and almost immediately started talking about ways she wants to paint and redecorate some of the rooms. My eyes started rolling – actually, they were seeing dollar signs go up in smoke. How much is all that going to cost? We need to pay off debt. If I had it my way, we would live in a tin can until all of our debt was paid off.

I think I started to get a hint of an idea about the depth of my wife's gift by talking to my mom. She's awesome too, by the way. I was telling her about some recipe or craft or something or other that my wife was doing and my mom says, “You really have a special one there! She is really something. She just puts her mind to something and does it. And it turns out great.”

“Yeah, mom, you're right,” I would say, genuinely, but also realizing that all of these things that she was putting her mind to were taking money out of our pockets.

But my mom's opinion stuck somewhere in my mind. I gave it some more thought. Then, I found myself bragging about my wife to my friends, and showing them pictures of some of the blankets she has made or other things she has done. I'm sure that some of my co-workers are a bit jealous because of the leftovers that I always bring for lunch. Just a couple weeks or so ago I realized that my wife is awesome at homemaking!

She has been trying to develop her talents and make a home that our children and family will cherish. As a couple, we really value the home and try to make it a place of peace, fun, comfort, and learning for our kids and for ourselves. We try to make it a refuge from the world. All this time I have been a hinderance to her goal of homemaking. I always loved the quote by Gordon B. Hinckley that he said about his wife:

 

The women in our lives are creatures endowed with particular qualities, divine qualities, which cause them to reach out in kindness and with love to those about them. We can encourage that outreach if we will give them opportunity to give expression to the talents and impulses that lie within them. In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, 'You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.'

The first time I heard this, I thought to myself, "Now, that's the kind of husband I want to be." Up until now, ultimate fail! So, in the spirit of turning that around, I am doing this. In addition to actually supporting my wife in her talents, I want to share with others how amazing she is.

Hence this blog.

I actually suggested to my wife a couple weeks ago that she should start a blog about all the crafts that she makes, but she pushed it off and said, “Yeah, cause I keep up with that kind of thing so well.” So, I took it upon myself to start one about her. She doesn't know yet. I started to take pictures of the things that she has made and was working on at the time.

The following posts will show things that she has done so far - foods, furniture projects, crafts, decorations, you name it. It will also be an honor sharing some of our family with you all as well.

Enjoy!