Monday, November 25, 2013

Crochet stories: Working in the home, being a nurturer, and a car pattern blanket

As I mentioned in my first post, my wife just recently finished this blanket for our son. It literally took about 1 year for her to complete.
 


 
 I know, it's amazing!

Don't tell him yet, but he's getting this for Christmas. 

Here are some pictures of the blanket in various stages of completion.
 
 

It is basically a patchwork of many small multicolored squares with some edging. Yes, we had little squares all over the place at one point.

My wife decided to make this blanket for our son because he loves cars. When he was just learning to walk he would carry around a cheap metal car from one of those Sonic kids meals. He took it everywhere.

Here is some evidence:

 

 

So, my wife looked through one of her pattern books, found this one and went for it. When she started, I don't think she realized how time intensive it would be. I think she also chose this particular pattern because the stitch (is that a crochet term?) was fairly easy. As with her other crochet items, she has been asked to replicate this for pay. But, how do you put a price tag on that much time? If you count love in time and effort, this blanket will be a monument to my son of his mother's love for him for many years to come. 

A blanket can be such a special gift (yes, I spent some time making fun of blankets in my last post, but only the hideously colored ones). Inspired by her love for our children and a desire to nurture them, my wife wanted to make a nice blanket for each of our kids. Blankets provide warmth, comfort, and a sense of being secure - all things that a mother can provide for her children. I know, I know, dads can too, but I'm not talking about dads right now. When my son falls or gets hurt, he cries, "Mommy, my ____ (fill in the ailing body part)." He is usually all better after a cuddle or a kiss from my wife. Then he can run around like a maniac again and get another bump or bruise. But, he knows that he can be comforted by his mommy. As I think about that, I am so grateful that my wife has cultivated this type of trust in our children. She truly cares about our kids' hurts and ouchies. And they happen a lot, especially to our son - he is 2 after all. I'm not going to say that there aren't times when she gets frazzled, rolls her eyes, or scolds our children. She is human after all. But, the bond that she is creating with our kids is so important in their development because it will provide fertile soil in which they can grow and blossom as individuals and hopefully productive members of society.

David O. McKay stated:
“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
What a powerful statement! I'm not going to try to define failure or success in the home because that certainly looks different for each individual. But, for me, I know when I'm too focused on work or my own wants to consider the needs of my wife or kids - that is a problem. I know from multiple experiences that selfish mindset generally doesn't pan out well for me or anyone else in my family.

But, we aren't talking about me, we are talking about my wife...

In addition to being amazing, my wife struggles with what I'm sure many women struggle with - whether to work inside of the home, outside of the home, or both. When we were first dating, she was in school for nursing, then switched a couple times. Most recently, she was doing a real estate program. I often wondered why she so often switched programs - I just figured she hadn't found her niche yet. Recently, in a very candid conversation that I am so grateful for, she confided that each time she was out studying, she felt a strong urge that her place was in the home with her children. She stated that she would often fight the urge because she is such an independent woman (I can totally vouch for that!) and wanted to use her talents in the workforce. Then one day she simply relinquished control over the issue and decided she needed to be at home with her children when they were young. I never really knew what a difficult struggle that was (and sometimes still is) for her and am kind of ashamed in my own failings to be there.

I realize that I'm treading on sacred ground here and that this issue is something with which many women struggle. There are certainly no canned, one-size-fits-all answers for any woman when it comes to the juggling act that is childrearing and earning a living. I only know what my wife told me about her own answer that came in moments of quiet reflection, after a great deal of difficulty, frustration, and in some cases pain.

Let me just say, I am thankful for a wife who realizes that her children are a treasure and that her work inside the home during their early years is of much greater importance than anything I could ever accomplish outside of the home. Again, yes, I also realize that a man's work inside the home is also very important and needed, but again - I'm not talking about me or other men right now.

As I think about my wife, the woman she is, and how much time she is putting into these projects for our children, it seems to me that crochet (or other projects in the home) is a way that she gives of herself and nurtures our children. She was willing to work one year on this blanket just to show our son, who probably won't fully understand until much later, that she loves him very much. 

Yes, she is awesome!

The pattern for this blanket can be found in:
The Big Book of Baby Afghans by Leisure Arts. You can order the book on their website.

It is also available on Amazon at this link

No comments:

Post a Comment