Learning to walk and potty training

There has been a lot of bathroom talk in my house lately, a bit more nudity, and my youngest looks a little injured. No, we are not abusing our kids. Our middle child is potty training and the baby has been learning to walk. It's been coming for a couple weeks and he's just started to get fairly good at it. He falls a lot though, and sometimes when he falls he cuts, bangs, and bruises himself. My wife actually took this picture of him and asked a friend if it was okay to take him around without fear of someone calling CPS on us.

With each day he takes more and more steps. It's amazing! And hopefully, there will be fewer and fewer cuts and scrapes... But, he's a boy, and I'm guessing this is only the beginning for him.

Meanwhile, our 3 year old has been going through the joyous experience of potty training. My wife is such an all-star. The first day was pretty rough. I'm so glad I was at work. This might sound terrible and mean, but we decided that if our son had an accident he would have to get washed off in a quick cold shower. He soon learned that was not fun. Then, we also decided to reward him for successful elimination in the toilet. Turns out chocolate chips can be wildly rewarding - especially if you have a choice between brown and white. Starbursts are also quite rewarding.
I think my wife said he had ~9 cold showers on the first day. The next day, 2. The third day, he actually started to go to the potty all by himself. We heard his little voice come from down the hall, "I peed!" We had company over for a game night and both my wife and I thought, "Oh no, he had an accident." But, when my wife went to investigate, she discovered that instead of standing there awkwardly with wet pants, he was sitting on the toilet. She called out, "You peed in the potty! Yea!" I got up from the table where our friends were sitting and ran down the hall, arms in the air, like a quarterback does after throwing a touchdown. That was probably the best moment of the week. It was the first time he had independently gone to the toilet. Our family had a little potty party as we clapped for him on the toilet - a very proud moment, indeed.

As most people who have been through it already know, potty training is a process, and can be a difficult one for both parent and child. I understand very well the frustration of asking my child if he has to go... "NO!" comes the response. Then, lo and behold, a minute later there is a puddle on my wife's cedar chest. Gag!

Though it is certainly frustrating and maddening for the parents at times, it can also be really hard for the child. Consider this recent vignette: My son likes to poop in private and it has been difficult getting him to go on the toilet. One night, he really put forth the effort and I made my way in and out of the bathroom to check on him and make sure he was okay, but also give him the requisite privacy. So, I hear his loud squeal of a cry and make a mad dash to the bathroom. What I found was a bit horrifying, a little disgusting, kinda sad, but awesome at the same time. My son was sitting on the potty, sobbing, mumbling the words "poop", and showed me his hand. Yup, he had poo on his hand, his poo that should have been in the toilet was on his seat, a little of it was smeared on the seat, and you can guess that it was also smeared on his backside as well. I immediately thought of that episode of South Park where one of the kids smears poop all over the walls. At least it wasn't that bad.
At the same time, I was so proud of him. A little grossed out, true, but he totally went for it! It wasn't perfect, he got a little messy, a little sad, and maybe a little freaked out, but he did it. Unfortunately he hasn't pooped on the potty since then. So, maybe it was a bit traumatic.... here's hoping for a 2nd number 2 in the toilet.

I'm definitely not putting a picture of anything potty training related up here... You're welcome.

As I have been thinking about these experiences that my sons are having - learning to walk and potty training - there are some similarities. First, they are transitions from one stage to another. They represent progression in development. Second, they can be painful. Both of my sons have cried as a result of unsuccessful attempts. Third, success brings extreme joy. Our baby was so happy and proud when he was first able to walk to daddy or mommy and get a huge hug. The 3 year old has made it a habit that he runs stark naked down the hall and into whatever room we are occupying to announce that he "went pee pee in the potty." Modesty will come later. It has only really been a problem when our daughter had a friend over - kinda freaked her out a bit.

These experiences have brought back some words of a talk by Dieter F. Uchdorf when he spoke about learning to walk. He said,

"We have all seen a toddler learn to walk. He takes a small step and totters. He falls. Do we scold such an attempt? Of course not. What father would punish a toddler for stumbling? We encourage, we applaud, and we praise because with every small step, the child is becoming more like his parents. 

"...compared to the perfection of God, we mortals are scarcely more than awkward, faltering toddlers. But our loving Heavenly Father wants us to become more like Him... that should be our eternal goal too. God understands that we get there not in an instant but by taking one step at a time."

I love these words because they encapsulate perfectly this mortal life. We are trying to grow, to become better, to progress. But it's hard. We fall, we get messy, and we cry sometimes. Occasionally we have consequences that we would rather not have. But all along the way God is there. His spirit continues to encourage and strengthen us, to help us on the path back home. We have been given the help we need to get back through His Son. Regardless of how bumped, bruised, or soiled we may become through our mortal life, God continues to love us. He knows that mess ups will happen and he loves us through them. No matter what. All we have to do is keep trying.

 

If you feel like sharing, what things in your life help you to know that you are still loved (by God, by family, friends, etc.) despite seeming failures along the way?